Genesis 49: Famous Last Tweets

The bulk of Genesis 49 is Jacob’s parting words to his sons. He knows he’s on his way out so he wants to make sure he says all the things he needs to say to them.

If you are like me, you are probably asking yourself: But what would happen if Jacob had only been able to communicate via twitter? Wow, great minds think alike, and so do ours!
Twitter Profilephoto © 2009 Rosaura Ochoa | more info (via: Wylio)

The Last Tweets of Jacob

@Reuben: Say Hi to @Bilhah for me! #Iknowwhatyoudidwithmyconcubine

@Simeon @Levi: Swords don’t solve problems. Don’t believe me? Ask @shechem.

@Judah: You will have a large following. Take that @ashtonkutcher and @charliesheen! #lionofJudah #ff

also, @Judah, washing your clothes in wine is NOT a good way to get the stain out! #laundryfail

@Zebulun: You will live by the sea. All things considered, not a bad deal. Try starting a shell art business, or not. #shellartisover!

@Issachar: You’ll become a slave to have good land. #notworthit

@Dan: You will be like a @bronxzooscobra on the road who strikes at horses’ heels. #confusingmetaphor

@Gad: Go Raiders! But please move them back to LA. #icandream

@Asher: Seriously, you need to try out for #topchef!

@Naphtali: “a doe let loose that bears lovely fawns.” #huh? #anotherconfusingmetaphor

@Joseph: You make me proud, son. You have been dragged through the mud more times than I can imagine. But through it all you maintained a le

@Jacob: You can only use 140 characters Dad!

@Joseph: #mybad. Bless you, my son.

@Benjamin: You’re a ravenous wolf who devours his prey and divides the spoils. #isntthatnice

What do you think Jacob would tweet to his sons? If you could tweet one thing to the next generation, what would it be?


17 responses

    • Well, to be fair, it’s your first comment since the first couple you made 🙂 I’m glad you like it! Thanks for the encouragement! Feel free to share it with people!

  1. I’m now using the hashtag #iknowhatyodidwithmyconcubine on every 4th tweet. I think Jacob would have tweeted exactly what you wrote. Verbatim. My tweet would be: @nextgeneration enough with the swoopy hair. #forthelove

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