Leviticus 6: A Day in the Life

5:30am: Wakin’ up in the morning.'7dbp7263795-alarm-clock' photo (c) 2011, Wolfgang Lonien - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

5:35am: Gotta get fresh. Gotta go down to the tabernacle. Use last “Friday” reference. Sneak the hot sauce in your pocket. You will need this later.

6:00am: Arrive at tabernacle. Say hi to Bernie, the doorman. Notice the ashes of the previous night’s burnt offerings on the altar.

6:05am: Put on priestly clothes. Oh yeah. Lookin’ good my man!

6:25am: Grab the shovel and scoop the ashes out of the altar. Make a nice pile next to it. Fight the temptation to roll around in it or throw it at other priests just to mess with them.

6:35am: Take off priestly clothes. Put on T-Shirt and jeans (not the nice ones. The wife likes those for date night).

6:55am: Throw some more wood on the fire. Keep that sucker burning at all times. Take a diet coke break and wipe the sweat off your brow while the ladies try to get a peak through the tabernacle wall.

7:00am: Remember that diet coke breaks won’t be invented for thousands of years.

7:05am: Walk through the camp with the ashes. Avoid those punk kids who try to trip you on your way.

7:30am: Take the ashes outside the camp to the clean place. Dump them there.

Repeat until all ashes are removed.

11:00am: Put priestly clothes back on.

11:20am: Lunch. Eat the grain offering cakes in the court of the tent of meeting with other priests. Sneak the hot sauce onto the cakes. See? I told you this would come in handy.

12:20pm: More wood on the fire.

12:30pm-5pm: Perform burnt, grain, guilt, fellowship, and sin offerings. Get blood all over the place.

5:05pm: Let the smiles from all the newly forgiven people warm your priestly little heart.

5:30pm: Dinner. Eat the sin offerings in the court of the tent of meeting with the other priests. It is like a Labor Day BBQ every day!

5:35pm: Remember that Labor Day won’t be invented for thousands of years.

6:30pm: More wood on the fire. Make sure the burnt offerings have enough wood to keep burning through the night.

6:35pm: Remove priestly clothes.

6:55pm: Head home. Make sure to say “bye” to Bernie, the doorman.

4 responses

  1. Got one more “Friday” reference for you: “The laver is a bowl, but not for cereal.”

    And I happily echo the sentiments of the above commenters: so thankful to be under grace, rather than law.

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