Leviticus 8: Priests! We Got Priests Here!

Now here is something I never expected to find in Leviticus:


I thought this whole book was just going to be law after law after law. I was wrong. The laws have taken a little break and given way to the ongoing story of this crazy people God brought out of Egypt.

Granted, it isn’t a very thrilling narrative, but it still tells a story.

Moses gathers the people together to witness the ordination into the priesthood for Aaron and his sons. He then performs all the commands God laid out in Exodus and the early chapters of Leviticus and gets that sh*t done yo. This led me to two very important observations:

  1. Moses is very good at following instructions. Like, extremely good. I would have forgotten most of that stuff. In fact, what are we talking about again?
  2. If you had been unaware of the commands God laid out for this ceremony, you would have been totally and hopelessly confused.

Let’s pretend a guy named Oogah had not been aware of the laws concerning the ordination of priests. And let’s also pretend that his wife, Boogah, was. And finally, let’s pretend that Oogah arrived right as the ceremony was starting. I know, that is a lot to pretend for one day. But I believe in you all. You can do it! *

Oogah: Hi honey. Why are all the people here?

Boogah: Moses is ordaining Aaron and his sons to be our priests. This is probably going to be a very important piece of our cultural history. You should pay attention.

O: Got it. What the?! Moses is giving them a bath? In public? Avert your eyes! I don’t want you to see this!

B: It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. And look, now Moses is putting their clothes back on.

O: So being a priest is like being a baby where you can’t dress yourself? Do they need to be burped too?

B: Har har. Those are the sacred vestments of the priesthood.

O: Sacred vestments? Wow. Such a stunning display of verbosity!

B: Zip it. You are going to miss the anointing.

O: Anointing? Of what?

B: Everything.

O: Everything? What do you . . . oh, I see. Everything. He is literally going to anoint every little piece of this tabernacle isn’t he?

B: Yep.

O: Ok, I’m going to take a snoozer. Wake me up when a bull gets slaughtered.


And so on and so forth through all the slaughtering and the blood dipping and the atoning and the burning and the HOYVIN MAYVIN!!!!!

But now we actually have priests! Before, they were just a dream. Just a twinkle in . . . uh . . . someone’s eye I guess. No more! There are people who can make sure all the stuff from the last seven chapters actually happens.

*At this point, you may be asking yourself, “why did he give two Hebrews cave-man names?” And you know what? That’s a valid point.

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