Eat your heart out, Jeff Foxworthy!
If you like to BBQ beef on a cedar plank using hyssop, a crimson material, and its own feces as seasoning, you might be unclean.
If you like to start fires so that first guy can make his “Beef au-pootine,” you might be unclean.
If you dig for treasure in the ashes of said BBQ, you might be unclean.
If you give corpses high fives, you might be unclean.
If you sleep over at a dead guy’s house, you might be unclean.
If you share a can of soda with “Ol’ Stiffy” on said sleep over, you might be unclean.
If you play pick-up-sticks with human bones, you might be unclean.
If you can’t keep your grubby paws off stuff that someone unclean touched, you might be unclean via the transitive property of uncleanliness.
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Ok, I might need to work on this before I take it on the road.
The Whole Dang Thing 
If you don’t work on this and clean it up before taking it on the road…
You are just plain unclean!
joking of course…..
Was pretty easy to end up unclean. The list goes on and on and on and …
Wow, I’m just really glad that I wasn’t eating dinner when I read this post. Because then I would have ‘lost my dinner.’ Is that unclean?
“the transitive property of uncleanliness” – love it!
hmm, not sure if “losing one’s dinner” is grounds for uncleanliness. You should probably bathe in ashes just to be safe. 🙂
If your nose just fell off and your arms are barely hanging on do to leprosy, you might be unclean.
Is it wrong to joke about diseases that are no longer around? I feel a little guilty…
I think joking about dead diseases is way better than joking about current ones. I would much rather hear a joke about the bubonic plague than AIDS.