Numbers 19: You Might Be Unclean If . . .

'Microphone' photo (c) 2011, Benjamin Ragheb - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Eat your heart out, Jeff Foxworthy!

If you like to BBQ beef on a cedar plank using hyssop, a crimson material, and its own feces as seasoning, you might be unclean.

If you like to start fires so that first guy can make his “Beef au-pootine,” you might be unclean.

If you dig for treasure in the ashes of said BBQ, you might be unclean.

If you give corpses high fives, you might be unclean.

If you sleep over at a dead guy’s house, you might be unclean.

If you share a can of soda with “Ol’ Stiffy” on said sleep over, you might be unclean.

If you play pick-up-sticks with human bones, you might be unclean.

If you can’t keep your grubby paws off stuff that someone unclean touched, you might be unclean via the transitive property of uncleanliness.

————

Ok, I might need to work on this before I take it on the road.

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7 responses

  1. If your nose just fell off and your arms are barely hanging on do to leprosy, you might be unclean.

    Is it wrong to joke about diseases that are no longer around? I feel a little guilty…

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