Deuteronomy 12: Bible Drinking Game

The tag-line of this blog is “blogging through the Bible with irreverent reverence.” Today, I am going to lean heavily on the irreverent side.

Heavily.

Yesterday I mentioned that Deuteronomy is getting a little repetitive. So I need to find new and creative ways to respond to that repetition.

And is there a better way to respond to repetition than a drinking game?*

Here’s what I’m going to do: I am going to think of as many “Deuteronomy catchphrases” as I can and list them here. I will also list what you need to do when you encounter one in chapter 12. (I have not read chapter 12 yet) Then I will read the chapter and make note of how many time each thing occurred.

And finally, I will let you know how drunk I am on a scale of “hand me the keys” to, “Katy Perry’s Last Friday Night was written about me.”**

'Communion Cups on the Alter' photo (c) 2011, macguys - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Sip of Beer if you read:

  • Lord your God
  • Commandments, Statutes, Ordinances, Decrees

Communion Cup Sized shot if you read:

  • Egypt, Pharaoh, Slavery
  • Mighty Hand, Outstretched Arm
  • Children
  • Land
  • Remember

Real Sized shot if you read:

  • Ancestors
  • Oath
  • Mountain
  • Commanding
  • Jordan
Ok. Let’s DO THIS!!!
(Reads Deuteronomy 12)
Well folks, I mayhave miscalcalated. Seems schapter went inadiffernt d’rection. Nevereverevertheless, I have figrd out tha totalsssssssss. herewago!
Sip o’ beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer
Therrrrre’s a lota these Chucky ma boy! “Lord r God” showed up 19 times! 19! thatshowoldiusedtabe!
Commununion Cup
Leetle beet less hrrrrr. I hadta to 10 of those. juss 10. Therrrrr purty small. ‘hic!’

Real size shot

ho boy. 8. 8 shots.

Please, don try this atcher home. Bad news mafriends. Bahnews.

Now will someone take me to the hospital?

Maybe next time I can figure out how to turn this into a game of BINGO.

* Yes. Yes there is.
** I am not actually going to drink anything. Nor should you. Do not ever try this. Ever!!!

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9 responses

  1. Maybe the Israelites turned it into a drinking game themselves. They certainly seemed to quickly forget moses’s commands all the time…
    Man I cant resist a bad joke.

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