Remember back in Genesis 49 when Jacob blessed his sons using twitter? I know, I thought it was weird too.
Weirder still is the fact that now that Moses is at the end of his life, he has decided to bless the tribes using the same method! What is it with these guys?
Here they are: Moses’ famous last tweets.
@Reuben: Live and do not die. #goodadvice
@Judah: Could probably use a little help against his foes. You know, weak hands and all.
@Levi: 1/2: he’s loyal, even though he fought God and disregarded his parents. #backhandedcompliment
@Levi: 2/2: crush his enemies’ balls.
@Benjamin: Hope the LORD has meaty shoulders. You’re gonna spend a lot of time there.
@Ephraim @Manasseh: may you eat good food and gore your enemies like a bull. #nonsequitur
@Zebulun: Yarrrrr! There be treasure in those seas! #pirateblessing
@Issachar: oops. Forgot about you. You can get in on @Zebulun’s blessing
@Gad: Blessed be your enlargement. #superawkwardblessing
@Dan: not sure what a lion’s whelp is, but you better believe you are one!
@Naphtali: May you possess the west and the south. #notthatfunny. #sorry
@Asher: Here’s a coupon for a free pedicure! #fabulous!
Oy. Enough of that. Alright people. Let’s see what you got.
How would you bless the tribes as they enter the promised land?
“@Gad: Blessed be your enlargement. #superawkwardblessing”
Actually laughed out loud!
Thats what I was going for!
Love this. I was going to try my hand at one, but it’s a little intimidating. I’m going to be spending the rest of the afternoon trying to think of a good one and I’ll probably wake up at 3am and have to speed tweet it so I don’t forget.
I don’t care when it happens. When creativity knocks, you must answer! Even at 3am. Thanks for the comment!
@12tribes Don’t smash rocks when you’re ‘spose to talk 2 them. #learnedthehardway
Nice. I like it!
Thanks! Great post. Thanks for sharing it with us!
I stumbled upon your website last night. What a great way to help others understand the Bible, Keep up the good work, I’m reading your devotions backwards…Jacob was priceless
Backwards huh? So the Israelites will wander for 40 years only to end up in slavery in Egypt? Bummer. 🙂
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