The bulk of Genesis 49 is Jacob’s parting words to his sons. He knows he’s on his way out so he wants to make sure he says all the things he needs to say to them.
If you are like me, you are probably asking yourself: But what would happen if Jacob had only been able to communicate via twitter? Wow, great minds think alike, and so do ours!
photo © 2009 Rosaura Ochoa | more info (via: Wylio)
The Last Tweets of Jacob
@Reuben: Say Hi to @Bilhah for me! #Iknowwhatyoudidwithmyconcubine
@Simeon @Levi: Swords don’t solve problems. Don’t believe me? Ask @shechem.
@Judah: You will have a large following. Take that @ashtonkutcher and @charliesheen! #lionofJudah #ff
also, @Judah, washing your clothes in wine is NOT a good way to get the stain out! #laundryfail
@Zebulun: You will live by the sea. All things considered, not a bad deal. Try starting a shell art business, or not. #shellartisover!
@Issachar: You’ll become a slave to have good land. #notworthit
@Dan: You will be like a @bronxzooscobra on the road who strikes at horses’ heels. #confusingmetaphor
@Gad: Go Raiders! But please move them back to LA. #icandream
@Asher: Seriously, you need to try out for #topchef!
@Naphtali: “a doe let loose that bears lovely fawns.” #huh? #anotherconfusingmetaphor
@Joseph: You make me proud, son. You have been dragged through the mud more times than I can imagine. But through it all you maintained a le
@Jacob: You can only use 140 characters Dad!
@Joseph: #mybad. Bless you, my son.
@Benjamin: You’re a ravenous wolf who devours his prey and divides the spoils. #isntthatnice
What do you think Jacob would tweet to his sons? If you could tweet one thing to the next generation, what would it be?
What, no comments on this yet?! CRAZINESS! This is absolutely hillarious AND a great way of getting the message across for the youth of today. Great work, as always!
Well, to be fair, it’s your first comment since the first couple you made 🙂 I’m glad you like it! Thanks for the encouragement! Feel free to share it with people!
I’m now using the hashtag #iknowhatyodidwithmyconcubine on every 4th tweet. I think Jacob would have tweeted exactly what you wrote. Verbatim. My tweet would be: @nextgeneration enough with the swoopy hair. #forthelove
haha. Love it! I am pretty sure I have never had a trendy haircut. I’m timeless.
@nextgeneration Read those history books. It really is all there.
@Zebulun: What are those guys doing making an offering here. This altar is over!
Ben, this is full of win! Loved it!
Thanks for sharing on my blog today.
My favorite part of this was @Joseph running out of characters. Comic genius, sir! Well done!
This is awesome!! I’m sure you’ll have the masses copying this—so creative! Love it 🙂 Thanks to Rachel Held Evans for sharing you!
Thanks! I’m glad you liked it! Yeah, Rachel is pretty bomb for doing that.
Why is Jacob referring to Joseph as “Dad”?
That is Joseph replying to Jacob.
Found your blog through Rachel Held Evans’ Sunday superlatives. Cool.
Pingback: The Best of May | Shawn Smucker
I love it! So funny.
Thanks! I had fun writing it.
Pingback: Sunday "Shares" | RandomlyChad