Exodus 15 is the first recorded song in the Bible; a triumphant (and somewhat violent) tribute God’s victory over the Egyptian army.
But I am left with one gigantic question: What did it sound like? The only clue we get is that Miriam (the first prophet mentioned in the Bible) uses a tambourine when she sings.
That’s not a lot to go on and leaves the door wide open for some “creative interpretation.”
So what if some popular singers from our day took a stab at that song? What would it sound like? What would qualify them to sing it? What would be the pros and cons for each? If you have ever asked one of these questions, fear not! I’ve compiled a list!
Contestant 1: Bono
What it would sound like: Soaring vocals; clear, anthemic lead guitar; speech and/or tirade in the middle; epic stage set-up. He would probably run the entire length of the Israelite camp while he sang.
Resume: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, Walk On, Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of, I Will Follow, Mysterious Ways. All songs that are perfect for wandering in a desert for 40 years.
Pros: Bono is always the champion of the underdog and the oppressed. Of course he would sing a song about slaves being freed! His sunglasses will come in handy as they wander the desert.
Cons: He needs his band. Could Moses book The Edge as well? Plus, Bono might have been schmoozing with Pharaoh talking about debt cancellation. Not sure the people would be too happy with that. Lugging U2′s stage around the desert could cause some serious complaining.
What it would sound like: An upbeat, catchy, party song. Fergie could cover Miriam’s section.
Resume: Remember when they sang at Oprah’s birthday? They could totally handle leading the Israelite crowd in Moses’ song.
Pros: Fun, infectious, catchy. That is exactly what the people need to properly celebrate their release from Egypt. Will.i.am had no trouble turning an Obama speech into a song. He shouldn’t have much trouble with this one.
Cons: Did I mention that their song would be infectious? People are going to get SO SICK of it! Tonight is not going to be a good night if you don’t stop singing.
Contestant 3: Lady Gaga
What it would sound like: A Madonna song. That’s right, I went there.
Resume: I have no doubt that when Pharaoh and Moses stood in each others’ presence, they had on their best Poker Face. Their relationship could be described as a Bad Romance. And The Edge of Glory sounds like a spiritual song. It probably is.
Pros: Theatrics, memorability. People are never going to forget that song. Also the attitude in the song fits with Gaga’s “I was born this way” personality. She would have no trouble telling that Pharaoh where to stick it.
Cons: Her meat dresses would go bad really quickly in the desert. Especially if they were made of quail. Also, no one really knows what most of her songs are about. That could get confusing. Oh, and it’s Lady Gaga.
Ok, those are my ideas. Do you think any would work? Who would you add to the list? Let’s see what we can come up with!